I just got back from Barcelona when i got that mail from my sister, titled ‘grief and loss’. Find it so hard to read after the first two lines because my eyes were filled with tears…. Find it so difficult to breathe… Feels like there’s a piece – a very precious one- that’s being taken out of my life.
All i can do is just staring at the computer screen for so long, with scenes of times that i had with Jessica flashing through my mind… How she would just sit next to me and ask me to massage her, how she barks with her deep voice and always made my friends especially Shinta jumped into the couch, but also how she can be so friendly and manja… I remember times when she accompanied me when i was alone writing my undergrad thesis late at night, how she used to steal my chocolates or eat the money we left on the table… and also how she really know how to put that “i’m-sorry-i-made-a-mistake” face… oh Jessica, u’re just a piece i can’t replace.
The night before i went to Barcelona i was watching the small video of her that my sister took before she went to Oz. I felt like i really miss her. Then i picture myself going home and she will welcome me so happily… That’s one of many reasons i find it uneasy to let you go, Jessica… Keep on wondering why… And another tear rolled down my face when i was biking home this afternoon.
I miss you so much, Jessica… miss you so much…